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Incontinence -ESA form
14 years 2 months ago #27039 by tilly 
Hi all
I find it impossible to tell most people about my incontinence, but did tell my GP last year and am attending incontinence clinic about this as a result.
I asked my GP to list all my problems and meds and operations, so now have a summary of most of my problems. One of these is my double incontinence - but of course, no one knows how often I have had an accident except me (and hubby). I have only told 2 friends adn hide it as much as I can from others - who must notice I get changed, but ehy know I have some chronic problems 'down below' but never ask.
The nurse at my first medical gave me no points for it at all and said she was not going to assess it at that medical. I did not realise this was not standard - I thought maybe it was assessed later... being a novice to all this.
I will be having another medical soon - I have to go to loo every 10 mins often... so I spend a lot of time in the loo!
xx
Replied by tilly on topic Re:Incontinence -ESA form
Hi all
I find it impossible to tell most people about my incontinence, but did tell my GP last year and am attending incontinence clinic about this as a result.
I asked my GP to list all my problems and meds and operations, so now have a summary of most of my problems. One of these is my double incontinence - but of course, no one knows how often I have had an accident except me (and hubby). I have only told 2 friends adn hide it as much as I can from others - who must notice I get changed, but ehy know I have some chronic problems 'down below' but never ask.
The nurse at my first medical gave me no points for it at all and said she was not going to assess it at that medical. I did not realise this was not standard - I thought maybe it was assessed later... being a novice to all this.
I will be having another medical soon - I have to go to loo every 10 mins often... so I spend a lot of time in the loo!
xx
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14 years 2 months ago #27044 by millymoo
Replied by millymoo on topic Re:Incontinence -ESA form
Hi Tilly
Please try not to get embarrassed about discussing incontinance, i appreciate it is a taboo subject and when i had to go to tribunal initially for DLA i became so distressed discussing it to the panel. I really understand how you feel and anyone with an ounce of compassion would also understand.
My best friend of 20 years had no idea how bad things were and we went on many holidays abroad together. It came to the crunch when she offered to come to the tribunal with me which i accepted. But this meant i now had to be completely honest with her. My way round this was to allow her to read my DLA application and she burst into tears, she said i had no idea but i am your friend and i am here for you no matter what. So yes its very hard but i only talk about it with people i trust. I felt disgusted with myself and beat myself up thinking i should be able to control it.
Once i had discussed it with my friend, GP and my close family i felt so much better. I didnt have to hide the fact that i kept changing my clothes. Or walk round town with wet clothing on that i had tried to clean the best i could in public toilets. So my heart goes out to you, my feelings are that we didnt ask for this to happen to us and would give the world for it to stop, but accepting it and dealing with it goes a long way to living with it.
Do you have a "cant wait card" whereby whatever shop you are in they will allow you to use their toilets even if there are only staff facilities. I have never been refused and the card is well recognised in the UK. They should take this into account at your ESA medical and you only need to be incontinant once a month to be allocated 15 points.
I hope this is of some help to you and if you want to know anything else please ask. The more you talk about it the easier it will become.
Please take care and god bless you!!
Kind wishes
Millymoo
Please try not to get embarrassed about discussing incontinance, i appreciate it is a taboo subject and when i had to go to tribunal initially for DLA i became so distressed discussing it to the panel. I really understand how you feel and anyone with an ounce of compassion would also understand.
My best friend of 20 years had no idea how bad things were and we went on many holidays abroad together. It came to the crunch when she offered to come to the tribunal with me which i accepted. But this meant i now had to be completely honest with her. My way round this was to allow her to read my DLA application and she burst into tears, she said i had no idea but i am your friend and i am here for you no matter what. So yes its very hard but i only talk about it with people i trust. I felt disgusted with myself and beat myself up thinking i should be able to control it.
Once i had discussed it with my friend, GP and my close family i felt so much better. I didnt have to hide the fact that i kept changing my clothes. Or walk round town with wet clothing on that i had tried to clean the best i could in public toilets. So my heart goes out to you, my feelings are that we didnt ask for this to happen to us and would give the world for it to stop, but accepting it and dealing with it goes a long way to living with it.
Do you have a "cant wait card" whereby whatever shop you are in they will allow you to use their toilets even if there are only staff facilities. I have never been refused and the card is well recognised in the UK. They should take this into account at your ESA medical and you only need to be incontinant once a month to be allocated 15 points.
I hope this is of some help to you and if you want to know anything else please ask. The more you talk about it the easier it will become.
Please take care and god bless you!!
Kind wishes
Millymoo
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