IB/ATOS Medical coming up... again!

Thanks Kathy and everyone for your advice. I've decided to go to the exam by myself (let's hope I don't pass out on the bus, eh?) as unfortunately it seems to have worked against me last time (have one friend = can socialize). This is my 4th medical since 2004 and I've never been so nervous. I noted the name of the examiner that last saw me, I'll try and make sure I don't get seen by him again as I can't guarantee I'll stay calm and composed with him, I have a lot of unresolved anger towards him (can retract 9 starting from 100 until I tell you to stop = fit for work - if only I was making this up, it's so ridiculous it ought to be a Monty Python sketch).
Also I've compiled paperwork from the two cardiologists that have confirmed the vasovagal syncope diagnosis, the letter from the tribunal reverting the last ATOS exam decision and the letter from the employment tribunal declaring my condition is a recognized disability. Whether that's going to help is another matter.
I've also printed the request letter for a copy of the report as found on this website, thank you so much for that, I feel a little better for having it. I'll keep you posted on how it went. Thanks everyone, I'll try and get some sleep now.

My thoughts are with and good luck to you.

I've just got home from the medical and boy was it an emotional affair. I'm glad I got to do it by myself but it took a lot out of me, I started sobbing in the waiting room and removed myself in the corridor. The receptionist was actually very kind to me and sped up the waiting process. I was seen by a practionner who asked me the regular questions which I tried to answer whilst trying to calm down. But the exam nearly came crashing down as the computer got unplugged when I moved my chair to get more comfortable. I started sobbing again, you'd have thought you were visiting the Niagara Falls. I kept apologising, thinking I'd ruined the whole thing but the doctor was kind and told me not to worry. That shortened the exam considerably and after reading the cardiologist letter stating my diagnosis of syncope, he wrapped it up and told me I could go home. I should received a letter within the next two weeks, whether that's a good sign I have no idea. Last time it took two months to receive the report...

What does everyone think?

Hi CelineL,

I think it sounds more positive than negative. At least he read your cardiologist report, some refuse to do things like this.

Hope you dont have to wait too long on your decision.

Kathy x

So after all that stress and my sleep out of the window, I went to my GP yesterday who prescribed me with Temazepam to help get back into a more "normal" pattern. I've just had a migraine that lasted over 48 hours, I'm a nervous wreck and I feel like being on death row awaiting for the decision letter. I'm having nightmares, which is why I can't sllep, it's a vicious circle.
I really resent the fact that someone somewhere can dispose of your life and livelyhood whichever way they please.
In a conversation with my friend yesterday, we came to the conclusion that whatever happens, no-one can win: you're made to feel ostracised if you happen to be unfit for work, yet you're made to feel guilt if you resent paying too much tax when in work, as if you should feel grateful for being healthy and pay your dues. The current atmosphere in the government is not helping those like me who cannot cope with the stress of it all. The conversation was spurt on by this video of Glenda Jackson in the House of Commons:

A little update: I've finally received the decision letter today and my IB will continue as normal. No tribunal for me this time, hurrah! My case is due for a "normal review" on 24/06/2011. Does that mean another IB50 to fill in?

I'm glad this is over, I was a nervous wreck. Thanks everyone for your advice and support.